What would look like eventual coexistence of humans and dragons? Here is RPG session with a my Russian friend. It describes my adventures after crossing an inter-dimensional portal to world where dragons are the most important species.
von Kirył und Googynoober
“You’re so lovely. Would you like me to ride you, girl?” — a kind of spooky Winchester lisped, baring his toothy maw into bloodthirsty smile.
“Sure! — a young lady cheerfully replied, trying to show innocence and silly flapping her eyelashes. — I hope my master won’t notice my absence.”
The TV screen went red and the girl screamed. Then the sinister Winchester appeared in the frame again. The poorly made-up beast was tearing the human body if it was a rag doll, whom it actually was, generously spraying the frame with unnaturally red blood.
Eledin watched the scene on the TV screen with a fair amount of skepticism. If he had a pet, he would never let him or her to communicate to strangers, especially if they were small, crafty beasts inspiring no confidence and voting for improper candidates on the parliamentary elections. Those brats would make you expect nothing but troubles. Tomorrow he would examine his nest-mansion for homeless couriers, if they had found time to settle there, to throw them away. However the next scene had appeared on the screen crossed the ambitious plan. A group of very ill-looking men entered a Yellow Reaper’s nest-mansion and started to climb right into the mouth of the unsuspecting, sleeping beast. As soon as the last of them disappeared into the dragon’s throat, the one jumped to her feet and gave a roar, spitting flows of green saliva. The dragoness body was also undergoing a transformation: the yellow scales fell down and green hair was growing instead. The cheap visual effects of the horror movie had some influence over him, awakened one of his fears. Eledin turned all the lights in his mansion on and checked the rooms for crevices and hides where a man could be before he settled down and took his usual place near the TV. Thunder sounded outside and rain hit the window sill. Eledin liked neither rain nor thunder. He coiled into a ball and covered himself with own wings to keep warm and wait out the bad weather. However a next crash of thunder having sounded just above the roof made him shudder. It breathed cold.
— Come on! You’re not a hatchling, — Eledin grumbled to himself, stood up and strode to the hall. He slowly turned the thermostat to raise temperature and at the same moment a lightning struck somewhere to the roof and the electric lights went out. The Celestial was left alone in the dark. — I shouldn’t watch horror movies at night, — he mumbled. The sound of his deep voice calmed him down enough to walk back to his bedroom where he hastened to climb back on the bed and made himself comfortable, getting ready to go to sleep and yawing. Suddenly a sound of human steps echoed off the walls and reached the dragon’s ears. — Who’s there? — Eledin whispered, listening to the darkness.
* - Damn! What a fucking rain! It was terrible weather. In an instant, the sun was covered by heavy clouds. There was a downpour. I haven't seen anything like this for a long time. Hail began to fall. - Damn, fucking cool! This is the worst storm this summer. Somewhere thundered and I saw lightnings. The heavy rain prevents me from efficiently navigate the street. I haven't seen anything, because my glasses steamed up. - OH SHIT! I felt pain all over my body. It was a very strange feeling, as if I was on fire. I think I was hit by lightning. I lost consciousness. I don't know how long I was lying in a puddle, but my clothes completely soaked, and cell phone broke down. I was sore and around me was only darkness and cold rain. Everything hurt me. I had to raise myself and go home, but … but … I didn't know where I was. It was a strange neighborhood. It wasn't my town. I've never seen such a large hangars. Was it an airport? - I have to check it out. It was open. Phew, finally dry space, although it pissed me darkness. I have to go blindly. Somewhere must be a light. - Hello! Is anyone here?! - Who’s there? - someone growled. I saw glowing, very big eyes. - Please, don't hurt me! * — To hurt you? — Eledin repeated and immediately started to panick. The human penetrated into his nest-mansion spoke Polish. Eledin knew a little of the language. His parents taught him when he was a hatchling, believing it was important for a Celestial to know the language of the country where dragons were nothing more than working animals. Was it possible the Empire invaded the territory of the Celestials and even more, his own territory. He did not know how many people were hiding in the dark, whether they had weapon, so he decided to get out. Eledin began to crawl from his bed, stepping on the marble floor cat-like. — Where are you? Show yourself! — he rumbled to the darkness, being ready to take off to the exit once an enemy would show itself. * My heart beat very fast, but I decided to approach. It was very strange. Bloodthirsty beasts don't speak. Even in English. It must be necessarily check. - UAAAA! IT IS A REAL DRAGON! - I screamed. - PLEASE, DON'T EAT ME! I'm very poisonous and tasteless. Where, for fucke sake, am I? It certainly isn't my town. It's probably not my dimension. How I got here? How do I return to home? - Fuuuuck! I felt that I am getting weaker. I almost fainted. Meanwhile, the dragon approached me. Damn, not good. * The frightened human voice that sounded as a response had an extremely encouraging effect upon Eledin. It seemed the man penetrated into his nest-mansion was just an unlucky thief, neither a terrorist or humo-zombie from the horror movie. The dragon rose to his full height and impressively went toward the violator. However, the person might be a lure and a group of its associates had been waiting in the hallway. Eledin cursed own carelessness and pressed his belly against the floor again to move like a cat chasing a mouse. — Are you alone, thief? — Eledin asked, looking out of the bedroom. A barely visible human figure appeared at his sight. The Celestial cast a longing look at the communication terminal placed on the wall near the entrance. To call the police, he would have to go through the man and its possible cohorts. Eledin grunted and stood at the door, not daring to move on. — I see you! Surrender human, before I call for Police! * - I give up! Don't call police. It's very strange. The dragon doesn't want to eat me, but call the police. What's that supposed to mean? - I beg you don't eat me! I am not a thief! I'm lost so I went here to shelter from rain. I did not know that dragon lives here. I fell down and started to shake. Meanwhile, the dragon approached me, as if he wanted me to pick up. - Please… I almost fainted. * “Do you think I would believe?” Eledin snorted. “He didn’t know. Who do you think shall live in the nest-mansion? Elves?” Eledin decided it was time for action. He made a few quick steps toward the human and almost raised his foot to step over the stranger as something clicked inside the switchboard and the nest-mansion was lit with the electric lamps. The half-blinded Celestial stood over the human figure, having opened his mouth wide in surprise. The human seemed was young and alone in his house. * - Please, you must believe me! I almost piss my pants. I will be killed very soon. Although not if this beast will hear me. This dragon can speak with a human voice, so it is endowed with intelligence. - I am not from here. What is this place?! I fainted with fear. * — Human? — Eledin called. The dragon froze over the young man’s body, still being in hesitation. The Celestial should have called the police to inform them about the person had penetrated into his nest-mansion but fear paralyzed his limbs. What if the human died and did it because of his, Eledin’s fault. What if the police think that he killed the unfortunate homeless. The dragon become rigid. He would be charged with killing a human and then the shame would fall on his whole clan. Perhaps if Eledin hide the body, bury it somewhere in the gardens then no one would know. However the dragon shook his head, dismissing the traitorous though. His conscience would not allow him to do this and live having such a burden. He gritted his teeth. Perhaps the man was still alive and just got sick or lost his consciousness. He may try to revive him. The Celestial sat down on all fours beside the man and began to poke him with own snout. — Are you alive? — the dragon asked, trying to catch the signs of life in the small body. Unfortunately he knew very little about human anatomy and even less about medicine. The man did not answer, then Eledin took the body and carried it to his bed. In passing, he remembered that the artificial breathing should be done to humans when they were not moving and having an ill look. Eledin placed the human in front of his mouth, took a deep breath and blowed puff of air on the body, unintentionally spitting it with saliva. * Slowly I start to wake up. I felt that I was all wet. I opened my eyes and … - AAAA, DRAGON! I began to roll around very big… bed! What the fuck is that? Furnitures in dragon's… house? That's unusual. - Don't eat me! That what I was covered was dragon's saliva. Disgusting. Meanwhile dragon stood in his place and looked at me like I was crazy. The beast was very calm, as if it was frightened by something. That was weird. - Do you don't eat me? - I asked stupidly. Dragon gave surprised snort. I looked around the large room. There was a lot of appliances adapted to dragons, but all of them had to produce by humans. - Do you speak with a human voice, isn't? Aren't you aggresive? What is your name? What is this place? How I got here? * Eledin sighed with obvious relief. The little human penetrated into his nest-mansion did not die, on the contrary, the young man demonstrated enviable agility having almost rolled down from the bed onto the floor. However, the young man was acting very strangely and was clearly insane. The Celestial went back to his gloomy thoughts of what he should do next. – Celestials don’t eat humans, boy, even fools, – Eledin said, disdainfully holding the claw to the human to push him far from the edge of the bed. – I don’t know who you are and how you got into my nest but if you steal something I immediately call the police. Keeping his eyes at the young man, Eledin slowly moved his huge body on the bed. – My name is Eledin the Shining Malachite. You must have already heard of it before? The house and the surrounding lands belong to me. * - Hey, watch out! - I cried when Eledin's huge body nearly crushed me. - I'm lying on your… bed! Do you remember? Dragon growled something under his breath. Something was wrong. Very, vey, very wrong. It was not my world. I am in another dimension. Why? How do I back home? Okay, easy. Only calm will help me. - Listen, Eledin… - I sighed. - Moment … do you mentioned something about the police and lands, right? Great, just fucking great! I am in a country ruled by dragons. May all of them were peaceful as Eledin who didn't killed me, though he could. It makes no sense to hide who I am and how I found here. - Ok, my name is… I introduced myself and said I come from. I told story of his life, told a little about my world and how I moved to another dimension. Eledin seemed very skeptical. I think that he didn't believe me. Besides, he seemed to be very dissatisfied by something. If I inadvertently offended him by my way of speaking. * – I have never heard more unbelievable story, – Eledin mumbled, looking at you sceptically. – I would suggest that you were running from a hospital for mentally ill but I don’t know any nearby. You don’t even know proper behavior with the Celestial dragons. Eledin paused for a moment, thinking over your story. He had carefully lowered his paw to grub you and take a closer look. – Hold on, manikin, – he said, holding you his talons. – How is it possible that you know nothing about the Celestials? The Celestial Council rules the country hundreds years. You are either mad or lived somewhere under the ground. Once I watched the movie about dragon companions escaping from their masters to live in the canalization in wilderness. The dragon sniffed you in disbelief and shook his head. – It’s strange. You smell quite normal I think. – Eledin put you back on his bed. – Tell me, if I call the police won’t you blame me in your madness, to whom I definitely have no relation? – he asked with hope. * - I beg you, don't call the police! I was scared that I will be in fact arrested. It is true that I didn't do anything wrong, but I thought I get to a psychiatric hospital. - I am not lying! My history is true. Please, Eledin! Can I stay here for the night? Or a few days until I get out of shock. I promise that I will not be made trouble. * – Oh, no! – Eledin disagreed. He proudly aimed his snout to the roof, pretending that he was looking at something far more interesting than the little human mysteriously happened to appear in the nest-mansion. – I live alone and I’m completely satisfied. Still, stupidly staring at the ceiling, the dragon shook his head. – You have to find another place to sleep. I’m sure the city has shelters for homeless that will take care of you. It is only ten kilometers away. Somewhere over the roof a lightning struck again and Eledin frowned at the sound of raindrops that renewed their hits on the windowsills. – Oh, – the dragon could say. * - Don't you throw me out of your house on this weather, right? - I asked hopefully. - Ten kilometers is very much for the human legs. Besides, it is dangerous to travel during storm. Dragon did't answer. He just stared at me with a strange expression of his snout. I took this as permission to stay overnight. - Oh no… - I felt small tingly sensation between my legs. - Not now… - Rainy weather and stress filled my bladder quickly. - It's a shame to say, but … I have to… pee. - But how was I supposed to ask the giant Celestial dragon where I should go to do my business? - Is there somewhere a corner where I can go? * Before Eledin could get used to the idea that he had to allow a human to stay a night in his nest-mansion as the young man hurried to abuse the assisted mercy with asking for a toilet. – What?! – Eledin exclaimed nervously. – Don’t dare to piss on my bed! Away! He lifted you with his claws and put to the floor then sniffed the spot where you were a moment ago. – You, humans, always need to relieve themselves at most unfitting moments. Oh, no! Aren’t you going to ruin my floors?! Breathing heavily with anger, the dragon jumped up to grab you and deliver to the bathroom before an unfortunate incident would corrupt the white, polished marble and of course Eledin’s mood. He put you in front of the huge latrine flushed with water. – Do it here before you bedraggle yourself or anything. I’ll be waiting. He demonstratively looked away. – Don’t try to steal something. * - Ah… that's better! - I unzipped my pants and relieved my aching full bladder into latrine. Eledin seemed disgusted to hear how human urine splash surface of clean water. - Why are you so aggressive? I don't relieve myself outside places designated for this. Never. Humans are very clean and intelligent creatures. Only small child… eeee… human hatchlings tinkle in bed. Haven't dragons to pee sometimes? Certainly they have, I see this large latrine. There is no reason for anger. You just put me in stress, Eledin. Damn. It still flows. What have I been drinking? This nervous dragon getting impatient. I guess he thought that humans have very tiny bladders. - Just half a minute! - I murmurred. - Oh, here's a big bath-pool. Don't mind if I take a bath? I have to clean up your stinky saliva. Do you have hot water in taps? Eledin is very nervous. After all I didn't do anything wrong. * Eledin ignored the talkative man, holding his grudge against the insolent human that was relieving himself. Just a few days to come and he would bow out to the annoying one and if the young man refuses to leave then Eledin pushes him out of the nest-mansion. Only when the man began to talk about bathing the Celestial decided to answer. – Humans pay too much attention to their basest physiological needs. However, I can only welcome your craving for cleanliness. I’ll fill the bathtub for you. Eledin turned the tap and the bath-tube began to fill with warm water. * - Thank you - I said, moving away from the latrine. - I do not know if I should be ashamed in front of the dragon, but just in case, if you can to look away for a moment? I would like to undress. Ok, Eledin? After a while I swam in warm water. Eledin looked at me with his favorably eyes. I think that he calmed down a little. - Oh, how nice… - I murmured with plesure. - It is very nice bathroom. Are all dragons live in such conditions? * Eledin sighed, glancing furtively at the human splashing in the huge dragon bathroom. Everything happening to him seemed a surreal dream. Of course there was no humans, he, Eledin, would go to his bad, fall asleep and then wake up as the only owner of the nest mansion. – What a waste, – he muttered, lowering the tip of his tail into the warm water, hoping secretly that it would allow him to wake up from the strange dream but it did not work. The dragon desperately floundered his tail in the water while the young man certainly was not going to disappear. Realizing that the human had asked him a question, he started to tell: – Certainly all the members of the Celestial council have the right for the appropriate pay and only Celestials are worthy to be in the council. He looked pointedly at you then quickly looked away, avoiding to look at your nakedness. – Of course dragons of other breeds also have their nest-mansions if earn enough. * - Interesting, interesting… - I mumbled. -I hope that this state is enough rich to build a comfortable shelters for the homeless. Ok, enough bath. I am clean and fragrant. Now it's time to get out of the bathtub and take care of more important problems. - Shit! - I swore. - Unfortunately I have no towel, so I'll have to dry in warm temperature of your bathroom, buddy. I think that you can look away at me. I am not ashamed showing my private parts in front of anim … dragon. Oh, cmon! I don't want talk to your rump. Besides, do you realize that your guest is hungry? * Eledin frowned at the word ‘buddy’. No one let itself such croneyism toward the Celestial, however, the insult that followed after put Eledin into shock. Such behavior can not be left without attention. The boy was definitely needed a lesson of good manners. The dragon turned and majestically strode toward you, lashing air with his tail. – Animal? – he roared. – Pathetic little man, whose ancestors certainly were nothing more than tree-climbing primates till my ancestors taught them the languages and laws, do not dare to speak to me so. The black dragon face loomed over you, threateningly baring the jaws. – Immediately ask me for forgiveness or I’ll carry you back to the street, – the angry dragon hissed. * - Easy, easy, easy! - I turned pale with fear. - Please don't hurt me! I didn't want offend you. I beg you, forgive me. My heart was beating awfully fast. Why Eledin got mad? After all I didn't do anything wrong. Perhaps in this world humans are just dragon pets and he is not accustomed to casual conversation with homo sapiens? - I am so sorry – I whimpered. Fortunately Eledin didn't be mad for long time. He pulled away his head from me and snorted haughtily. - Then can I call you just Eledin? Right? I would like to point out that I am from another dimension. My ancestors have established all the laws and customs themselves. - I felt my stomach grumbles. That drake must have heard too. - Do you have in your home something to eat? Just let it be virulent for humans. * – I guess you can call me by my name, – Eledin said with condescendingly tone, pleased with himself and the effect he had produced on the young man. The human’s halting excuses showed him that his guest did a fast progress in training. Happy dragon even let himself coil into a ring like a large cat, supporting his chin with the tail. – You definitely need a lesson of civilized behavior. It is usual to address the Celestials by “Mistress” or “Master”. You can spoke only after you’re spoken by your master… hm… companion. Did you really from far away? Perhaps this might explain your wild behaviour. When you finished your business in the bathroom Eledin lazily rose to his feet and yawning walked toward the bedroom. – Would you like to eat? – he turned around. – Follow me then. * - I told you that I come from another dimension. - I snorted. - This world is fucking very strange for me. We walked out of the bathroom. Eledin stopped at a large door with a lock that work only with owner's voice. - I wonder what dragons eat. Is there a shared cuisine for dragons and humans? And what about alcoholic drinks in this country? * – I will never believe in such nonsense. Other dimensions, alternative universes inhabited without dragons? All these tales are for dreamers, escapists, courier dragons and other madmen liking to believe, – the Celestial grumbled, looking at the contents of his fridge. – There is a bit of cow cereal and fish meatballs, – Eledin informed after he completed inspection. – Both passed the thermal processing during production. I think your stomach won’t hurt. He carefully pulled out the two large boxes and a hundred liter barrel. The boxes were put in front of you and the barrel between the dragon forepaws. Eledin quickly oppened the barrel with with his claw and a beer smell spread in the air. * - Thank you for the meal, Eledin. Although I doubt that this is delicious for humans. Anyway, we'll see. I opened the package, took food and tasted. It was not the best thing I've eaten in my life, but it was enough to satisfy my hunger. - I am so thirsty - malty aroma reached to my nostrils. - Hey, it is beer, right? Please, can I get some? * During your short-term meal Eledin was dreamily squinting his blue eyes, unwittingly imagining himself as a one of the great ancestors, having tamed a human personally and turned it, a semi-wild primate, it was before, from the darkness of ignorance to the light of civilization and culture. The young man, in his turn, hastened to respond him with a big share of ingratitude and asked for alcohol, undoubtedly seeking to return to a primitive state. — What?! — The dragon’s mouth was opened in surprise. — Don’t you know that alcohol is harmful for humans? Your mind may just not survive this drink and you become an alcohol addict or even worse an insane terrorist! The Celestial lowered his snout to the beer barrel and began to lap the hop drink quickly. — Maybe one day, after appropriate training and under medical care I’ll give you a bit of the drink — Eledin gurgled. — So far I can only offer you water. * - Ok. I can drink water. - I sighed. - You're not very hospitable dragon. Do you know about it? Otherwise I am still young an adult human, not a hatchling or teenager. You don't know much about humans. In my dimension I drank beer and other alcohols. And an alcoholism is something foreign for me. Eledin seemed to be bored during my comments. He drank his beer, smacking loudly. His tail moved restlessly. - Nevermind – I murmurred. - When do you give me some water? Where will I sleep tonigh * “Could you lie on the floor? - Eledin timidly asked, clearly not wanting to share his bed with the human. - It is heated. I'm sure it is much better than to sleep here than on the ground or rocks…” However, feeling your skepticism the Celestial added: “I suppose you couldn't. Well then, you can sleep here.” He pointed at the very corner of his large even for a dragon bed. * - In your hous is hot like in hell - I wiped sweat from my forehead. - I'm not an animal to sleep on the floor, so thanks you for your grace and I will sleep in bed. I'm dying of thirst. When you give me some water? * The dragon snorted loudly and shook his head disapprovingly. – I see the lessons of good behavior obviously did you no good, – he grumbled, being annoyed at the human’s slow progress in dealing with the Celestials. However Eledin decided to forgive the young man’s unbecoming familiarity. Still the human just stood on the noble path of transformation from a half-barbarian to respectable and obedient pet that would make a company for a dragon one day. Eledin definitely should to continue his education, not now but next morning. Now it was time to have a rest. – You can sleep here, on the bed, – Eledin pushed the words out, accepting human presence as a necessary evil. – You can drink some water from the fountain. It is clear. * We went to sleep. The light went out. However for a long time I could not asleep. Dragon bed was quite comfortable for humans. Problem was different - suddenly in nest-mansion got cold. What the fuck? It is possible that heating could broke down? I hadn't an additional blanket to wrap up. Damn!I looked at Eledin. The dragon seemed to sleep, but it was dark, so I wasn't sure. He didn't snore or something. I approached to his side. I laid under his wings and cuddled to scaly skin. Finally some pleasant warmth. Probably Eledin realized that I changed my position on dragon bed. He growled, but said nothing. We both fell asleep.
Morning I was awakened by sounds of a quarrel. It seems that Eledin are talking to someone with his growling voice. * “Eledin, friend!” – a high, resonant voice spoke from the terminal. The display had been occupied by a red-black spot that definitely might be guessed as a dragon snout. A courier beast of a size of horse was standing on its hind legs, having clutched the call device with the forepaws, filling the air with a sound of claws gnashing against the microphone and poking its nose to the camera. Eledin frowned, looking at the screen that began cloudy, being covered with droplets of moisture from the small dragon’s breath. – Hey! Stop ruin my property, Ratchet! Why have you come? The courier recoiled from the microphone and shrank into a ball, obediently wagging its tail. – But, but… we were going to watch horror movies… – Don’t you know that I’m busy today? – Eledin lied blatantly, not wanting the human to know about friendship of the noble, well-respected Celestial to the stupid courier of pathetic breed. – Really? With what? – Ratchet asked suspiciously. – Have you met a lady? I have to greet her then! The courier easily fluttered through the fence and ended up in the courtyard of the nest-mansion. – Hide somewhere! – Eledin barked. – He mustn’t see you otherwise the whole city will know of your presence here. * - Who is this? - I got out of dragon bed. - Another dragon? Why should I hide? Does he want to hurt me? Eledin didn't want answer me. He seemed to be stressed and growled. I decided to hide in the bathroom. It didn't take a few minutes, and already I heard a squeaky voice of a small dragon. Probably courier. - I smell human scent, Eledin. Did you adopted human pet? Where is it? I love playing with humans! * Eledin hurried to block the way to the bathroom but the nimble courier easily slipped under the large, clumsy Celestial. Ratchet immediately found you and galloped toward. — Hah! I found you, human. It's my turn to hide! Happy courier touched you with his snout and ran out of the room but suddenly stopped at the doorway. — Are you playing hide and seek? — he asked timidly. — Of course he isn't playing! — Eledin thundered, going to the bathroom right after Ratchet. — Pet, my guest is too serious for such nonsense. I assure you he was not hiding but taking a bath. Eledin looked at you searchingly. — Is that right? By the way the beast is called Ratchet. The little dragon handled you his foreleg. Hi! — he said with his squeaky voice. * - Nice to meet you, Ratchet. - I patted him on his head. - You are very active creature. Are you Eledin's friend, right? Ratchet shrieked and purred with delight when I stroked him. He seemed to likes my caress. By the way Eledin looked to by angry for some reason. It was weird, but I saw jealousy in his eyes. Maybe it was just my subjective impression. - You're right, Ratchet. But I don't have time to play hide and seek. I have to listen my host. What shall we do today, Eledin? * – Usually we watch horror movies together, – Ratchet hurried to intervene in the conversation with his usual simplicity. Eledin considerably grew nervous, willing neither to confess that he could not resist and watched the movies last night or want his fellow disappointed. Not that Eledin was Ratchet’s friend, he found the little dragon stupid and annoying, but his cheerful character often brightened loneliness the Celestial had dwelt in after his parents’ disappearance. – True, friend, – Eledin theatrically sighed, – I’m afraid you’re too late. Remember, we were going to watch the movies yesterday. I waited for you a whole day but you didn’t come. Ratchet grew sad. – I missed everything again, the second time this month. – You become forgetful, – the Celestial said carefully and gave the little dragon’s had a rub. The courier was not going to give up. – Let’s fly to the city, – he suggested. – I know the place where we can get ice cream and we can play, and run, and fly… – No-no! – Eledin squeaked, having imagined what other Celestials would say seeing him in the company of the stupid courier and the suspicious man. The man definitely needed some new clothes and what was not less important in good manners, and he would never get it if Ratchet attracts too much attention. – I’m afraid I and my pet shall do some duties: brushing his teeth, dressing, preparing a living place in the house, – Eledin began to list their fake duties whose fulfillment would require a whole day. The small courier was silently nodding and occasionally yawning, while the Celestial softly pushed him toward the doorway leading outside. A few minutes later Eledin returned, pleased with himself. – It seems he flew away and we can have a breakfast. I know a nice cafe nearby. I think I can take you with me but you should do something with your look first. Check your dress, maybe it is dry. * Fortunately my clothes were dry. Eledin decided not to waste time. As soon as we walked out of nest-mansion, he grabbed me carefully and sat on his back. - Do you know, that it would be the first time when I will fly? - I asked with some fear, but he ignored that. After a while Celestial dragon flew into the air. It was a great feeling for me. I felt a pleasant breeze in my hair. Around me stretched a beautiful view. Finally I saw the greatest buildings in my life. Dragon City. There were both gigantic skyscrapers and long hangars. Everywhere were flying dragons, dozens of dragons. In very different sizes and breeds. Our flight wasn't long. Eledin landed in a large, beautiful garden. At specially adapted tables rested both dragons and humans. There was smell of coffee and tea. A little out of the way human children and dragon hatchlings played together. * Eledin occupied one of the free tables in the corner, far from the arc serving as an entrance. He still could not get used to the presence of the human and felt tightness and concern that some of his friends would discover him in a company of the human pet. Several times he caught himself thinking to hide himself or the human under own wing when visitors passed their table. A group of dragonets that were frolicking on the lawn, now approached them, looking with interest. — Are you a Celestial? — the smallest dragon of the company asked. Instead of answering, Eledin gave a loud snort in their direction and the company hurried off to a safe distance. — They make a lot of fuss, — he grumbled. A few minutes later a waiter appeared. The man was nervous and wiping sweat from his forehead. — Sir, what would you like to order? — the waiter asked. — It's a honor for us to have a Celestial visiting our cafe. — We would like coffee and a menu, — the Celestial quickly replied. The tip of his wing had been put down next to you, making a rough attempt to hid you from prying eyes. * - Are you ashemed because of my presence, Eledin? - I asked with a frown. - Celestial Dragons must be great buffoons. Eledin ignored me again. After a while the waiter brought us a menu. I took it in hand and began to read. There was a lot of food and beverages. Some designed for dragons, other for humans, and some for both species. - What would you like to order, my friend? Eledin not immediately answered my cute question. He looked around territory of the cafe. I think he saw someone important for him. * The waiter returned a few minutes later. He and two other employees wheeled a cart with a huge bowl filled with the black liquid. They placed the bowl in front of Eledin. – Your coffee, sir, – the man declared. – If you like something else just call for. – Surely, – the dragon growled, impatiently inhaling coffee aroma. The men bowed away to serve other visitors. Their superior did a gesture and a waitress approached your table and put a cup and coffee pot on it. – Coffee for your companion. Destructed from the divine drink, Eledin wanted to say that one bowl was quite enough but she had left. The Celestial touched your cup with the edge of his nose and sniffed. – I hope you’re not going to drink this? – he wondered. – Coffee is not for humans. I don’t think you are strong enough. * - Yes, I'm going to drink this! - I growled at stupid dragon. - I'm an adult man. Remember that, Eledin! You're not my parent, babysitter or teacher. I can drink coffee, and even vodka or cognac. It is not your business. I got angry. Stupid dragon and stupid this fucking world. Where I am? How do I return to home? Damn. - What do you want to order? - I asked again. Meanwhile in the cafe reigns some small muddle. * – You shall not drink this! – the Celestial hissed, fuming with anger. He ostentatiously wiped your cup of coffee from the table to the ground where it was broken with a clatter. – I’ll tell the waiter to replace it with water, – Eledin said complacently, – and then we eat what is best for us. The dragon turned to call for attendants. “Waiter!” Eledin’s voice thundered across the tables. Visitors suddenly stopped their happy pastime, their curious stares turned at you both. Somewhere a child cry sounded. Suddenly a huge shadow slid from behind and stood between you and Eledin and a gentle deep voice, undoubtedly belonging to a dragoness, asked: – Poor thing, tell me, wasn’t your companion hurting you? A beast of similar to Eledin’s kind had pointed her front, decorated with five sharp claws, paw threateningly at the Celestial’s side. – I don’t, – Eledin tried to justify himself but felt silent when the dragoness gave him a disapproving look. * - This is not my compagnion… but… just… just… - I didn't know what I should answer. - Whatever. We have a serious problem. Culinary problem. This old beast, Eledin, controls all I want to eat or drink. I'm an adult human, and he will not let me drink coffee or beer. It's damn frustrating - I viewed the new dragon. It was Celestial, but a little smaller than Eledin. Unusual ornaments, like earrings, in ruff suggested that it was a female. - Are you dragoness, right? Why are you interested about my fate? * The dragoness listened to you and nodded. – I heard your companion was rude so I couldn’t pass by. Don’t worry, young man, you don’t have to shield him and I won’t live his behavior without consequences. – Lady, I don’t remember your name but I sure you the last thing I want is to cause harm to the young man, – Eledin made an attempt to rehabilitate himself in the eyes of the fellow Celestial. – Astatia, – the dragoness coldly replied, having her claws hidden though. – As a member of the council you should have remembered my name. Eledin felt detracted, he had not visited the sessions, considering them useless politicking, but the name of one of the most prominent figures was well known for him though he had no personal acquaintance. – Lady Astatia, he is a half-wild, uncontrollable child in need of education and not of those obedient companions, accustomed to the council members, – Eledin said timidly, being frozen in a stupor of waiting for a verbal slap that was not slow to follow. – Or, you simply deny your companion the appropriate to his status privileges and education, – the Celestial dragoness interrupted, disapprovingly wiggling the tip of her tail. – You could buy him new clothes. Astatia realized she did not know the name of her interlocutor, though his appearance seemed familiar. Perhaps she saw him in the council once. – Could you tell your name? – she asked politely before making a fitting to occasion bow – a standard courtesy for Eledin’s Celestial origin and his outstanding, Astatia had to admit, appearance. – I hope your young companion have a name too? – I am Eledin the Shining Malachite, – Eledin answered with a proud note in his voice, – and he is, – the dragon stealthily pushed you with his finger and whispered: – Present yourself to the lady. * I introduced myself in front of Astatia. I think she was astonished by my name. Apparently humans in Dragon Country have different names. - Eledin is not my master or owner, and I am not his companion. I don't know how I came to this country. This is strange case, Astatia. I sneezed directly on the table. Eledin seemed to be under the influence of different emotions. He was both outraged, disgusted and hungry — he licked himself, wanting to order a nutritious breakfast. Dragoness Astatia opened her mouth in surprise. Probably she never met a human like me. - Tell me, Astatia, what is happening here. I see that the Celestials and other breeds of dragons have human pets. * For Eledin’s dismay, Astatia did not interrupt your tale. The dragoness carefully listened to the unbelievable story of your brief adventure, only occasionally nodding. – You don’t need to conceal your origin from me. Your name and accent clearly indicate that you came from the empire, – she said very quietly to keep the secret. – Eledin takes a big risk, making you a company. If the council finds out who you are, that will harm him. The Celestial dragoness lowered her ruff and bowed her head in reverence, this time quite sincerely. – It’s an honor for me, – Eledin mumbled, feeling embarrassed in presence of the female and having not yet gotten to understanding of the adventure he had got in. Under his black glossy scales he blushed like a schoolboy, saying: – Would you like to have a breakfast with us? The answer was a human sneeze when the young human accidentally demonstrated his barbarian nature and stole all attention of the creature that Eledin had found as pure perfect. – Are you okay? – Astatia asked. – Should we make a visit to the hospital? * - Everything with me is ok, Astatia — I wiped my nose. - Just flower pollens make me harm. But I am in good condition. Eledin sighed while looking at me. He was not happy, but Astatia still looked at me with honest concern. - Truthfully I need go to take a piss. - I announced loudly with some humor. Eledin's eyes widened, looking at me like at stupid barbarian, but Astatia seemed amused by my words. - If it's not a problem, I'll go into those bushes — I pointed to the decorative flowerbed planted with conifers trees. - Or it is… Astatia turned her head, trying to hide amusement. Eledin moved his ruff, showing irritation. But I noticed something else. Eledin stamped with his hindlegs and wagged his tail. I don't know too much on dragons fishiology, but I thought that he has full bladder too. After the Ratchet's visit my host decided that we leave the nest-mansion very quickly, so there was no time to go to the bathroom. * Eledin opened his mouth in surprise, when the human boldly went toward the nearest bushes. — He's horrible, — the Celestial whispered before he made few quick steps to stop you from possible vicious actions. — Please, don't judge your friend strictly, — Astatia hurried to intercede. — He hasn't learned our traditions and etiquette. Eledin wanted to tell something unpleasant on your count though kept silent and just nodded. He himself felt the need to relieve and it was a good chance to bow out keeping his snout risen high. — I shall show him a restroom, mylady, — Eledin said, having added some ostentatious regret in his voice. — You can find us right near the table, — she wiggled her tail, pointing at the other corner of the cafe. — Me and my companion are going to have a breakfast. Please, join us when you finish hmm… your duties. Eledin gave you his foreleg, helping you to get on his back then fastly rushed to a nearest toilet, hoping it wasn't not too late. * I was surprised that Eledin don't gave me a reprimand. He said nothing, but walked very quickly. Probably he was afraid that I wet myself on his back just like a small child or hatchling. I was a little embarrassed when I noticed how he sees me. Or maybe he had to go relieve himself very bad and was pleased that I give him an excuse in front of Lady Astatia. Eledin came to the big hangars. I noticed that there was no door, but baffles with subtitles. Celestial walked past a baffle with the inscription „FOR FEMALES“ and entered to the hangar marked „FOR MALES”. I came to the largest, most beautiful, and at the strangest public restroom in my life. There were marble floors. The walls were decorated with colorfoul frescoes and this very large room was lit by luxury chandeliers. At the other end of the restroom there was through latrine flushed with water. Like as in Eledin's house, but much longer. Closer to the entrance was very large and long grate in floor. It was flushed with aromatized water flowing out of the openings in wall. It had to be a urinal. Toilet was impressive, but at the same time I experienced culture shock. There was no intimacy. Dragons and humans relieved themselves collectively. Every country has its own customs – I think so. Fortunately, we were the only users at that time. I felt smell of lavender and chamomile, not odour of faeces like in restrooms in my city. I looked at the big, richly decorated fountain. It will be a good place to wash my hands after all. Eledin muttered something under his breath and fastly walked toward the urinal. I grimaced and called with disappointment. - Hey, have you forgotten me? I am still on your back! And I remind you that I have to tinkle too! But I can do it standing on your back, if you don't mind. Eledin gave neither snarl, neither snort. Certainly he didn't like this tone. He will give me a “lesson” of good manners, even when using restroom. * — You won't mind to get down from my back to not be washed in toilet! — Eledin let himself a flat joke. He had been in good mood after the brief conversation with Astatia. The dragoness was a true perfect as any noble Celestial should be and he had hopes to continue their familiarity when a chance would appear, even if she had recognized his human as a companion he would accept that. Eventually he dreamed to have a human pet since his being a hatchling. Unfortunately his newly acquired pet was not of those trained, well-behaved pets that other members of the council had in their nest-mansions, so Eledin, having accepted the human as a pet mentally, decided for another try to establish own authority. — Wash your hands first, — the dragon told you in didactic tone, — I don't want my pet to get sick. * - Are you crazy? I'm not going to wash your hands BEFORE piss, Eledin! - I snapped, crawling up among his back. After a moment I jumped down to the floor, banging my ankle. I grimaced in pain. Eledin wanted to say something, but I shouted: - Not now! I trully need to pee! I ran to urinal grate, unzipped my pants and gave very loud, unashamed sigh of relief, finally relieving myself. Local drinking water is not good for my kidneys. All passes through me. Damn, it is good that I don't use any medications. Eledin approached closer to urinal, lifted his hindleg like a dog and started doing his business. For a moment it was heard only as our streams of urine fall into water. I looked at Eledin and I started giggling. The dragon, which yesterday was so scarry for me, seemed to such, in this pose, terribly funny, even grotesque. Eledin heard my laughter and looked at me very sternly. - I guess you very needed an excuse before Lady Astatia, right? - I asked mischievously. * – Why were you laughing? – Eledin tried to turn the conversation to another topic, clearly not wanting to recognize the merits of his pet who had taken from the Celestial the necessity to embark on long and stiff explains why he, Eledin the Shining Malachite, a representative of the noblest kind, was going to leave the beautiful lady alone in the café. – It must be because of your poor upbringing. I should teach you how to behave in the society. A childish laughter sounded in response. The dragon gave a short growl at you, thinking that his pet was not listening to the enlightening speech. – You aren’t listening to me, – he grumbled but the laughter sounded again. This time louder and definitely from behind. – Uncle Malik, I want to pee! – a boy’s ringing voice said. – Hold on a bit, we’re almost there, – a dragon low bass replied. – This is the third time today! Malik, explain Naltic we cannot walk a toilet every time he drinks soda! – another, feminine, dragon voice got angry. – Don’t be nervous, sweetheart. We’ll get back quickly. – The same masculine voice answered. Sound of heavy footsteps came from the entrance and a large red beast came in. * I noticed how very big dragon enters to males restroom. He was bigger than average Celestial and a little scared me. I would go to hide behind Eledin, but I don't finished to use urinal yet. Eledin still relieved himself too. However stranger dragon was not aggressive and bowed to Eledin. “My master” was too busy to reciprocate this gesture. - Hrm … - Eledin issued a friendly murmur of welcome. I noticed that on beast's back is a little boy. At most 6-7 years old. Red dragon helped his child to down on the ground. * Eledin returned the greeting to the Regal Copper and his companion, lazily waving his foreleg. – Malik, old fellow, stop bowing like I’m your wifey! You know I’m always happy to see you and Naltik! At the mention of Zellandera the large Regal Copper chuckled. – My beloved wouldn’t like such cronyism. Fortunately for us, she stayed outside and the two old former fellow students can have a little chat. Eledin lowered his snout to you to push you toward the red dragon, telling: – This is Malik. My old friend. Say him ‘hello’. Malik, this is my human. Malik nodded his huge head and friendly snorted like a giant cat. – Hi, – he said. – Nice to meet you. – Don’t forget to bow your head, – Eledin impatiently whispered, having ‘accidentally’ touched your head with his snout. Meanwhile, the Regal Copper’s companion slipped past you to the toilet but abruptly turned, looking at you. – I can’t do this until he’s staring! – the boy complained. * - Child, I don't look at you. - I muttered, zipped my pants and walked away from urinal. Damn, this kid should be accustomed to use of such restrooms. Doesn't matter. I walked over to fountain, in the middle of restroom, and began to wash my hands. Ach, this is it! Warm, perfume water. What a luxury! Lapping in this water, I said: Hello, Malik. - Hello, Malik. But he didn't answer me and took care of a little boy. * – Just look at his pet, – Eledin whispered conspiratorially. – I bet he is very obedient and never put good old Malik in difficult situation. Communication with them will do you only good. Malik, meanwhile, tried to encourage the boy. – Don’t be so shy, – he said to Naltik. – Look at me, I don’t wear clothes and nothing bad happens. – I won’t go without clothes! Aunt Zellandera wouldn’t like it! – I, – The Regal Copper faltered, – let me just cover you. He spread his wing behind the boy, covering him from your eyes. A minute later he and his pet turned to you again. – My wife and I have a breakfast in the cafe around here. Zellandera says it’s near the building of the local council, just a half hour flight. You could join us. Naltic will be happy to play with your human. Right? – Hah! – Naltik chuckled. – His human is old! * - Hey, I am not old, boy! - I snapped. - But truthfully, I don't join to children's games, although Eledin don't know nothing about human's age. Naltik started to leave restroom, but Malik snorted to stop him. Well, not everyone took the habit of washing hands after pee. Meanwhile Celestial dragon seemed to be confused. I thought he had problems with decision. - Ok, Eledin! What should we do? Personally, I would go back to Astatia. Maybe she has an adult companion. * — My friend, I'm afraid we have to refuse your offer. There is a lady we going to have a friendly conversation with. Eledin put his foreleg near his human pet to help the young man to get on his back. — Ah, and which the lady did break Eledin's heart?! — Malik winked to the Celestial. — Please don't tell me! Is she the noble Celestial lady my poor jealous wifey scolded at? Mentally Eledin blushed. — Her name is Astatia. — She's a kind lady. Why does aunt Zellandera dislike her? — Naltic wondered, stepping to the offered Regal Copper's palm to get to the saddle. — What are you doing here so long?! — a hissing dragoness' voice thundered. Her long elegant neck appeared right behind the edge of the doorway. The dragoness stood on the point, not daring to come in the restroom where the sign 'for men' was. — I told you 'one minute and we go to have a breakfast'! I shall be in the council in an hour! — Zellandera, — both Eledin and Naltic whispered. Zellandera meanwhile saw Eledin and gave an angry hiss. * I was a little scared during meeting with dragoness named Zellandera. This hissing makes chills go down my spine. - Are you Zellendera, Malik's wife and Naltic's aunt, if I understood correctly? - I asked with a slightly quavering voice, but I regained courage quickly. Dragoness snapped something unintelligible. Instinctively I grabbed Eledin's scaly skin. Damn, she is so angry. - Tell me – I continued. - It is possible in this country to let human piss in peace? Have you seen inscription “For Males”? You shouldn't come here. It's not very nice. We have right to privacy, Zellandera. Malik approached to his wifey. Eledin stood on his ground and watched developments of strange situation. * The dragoness angrily shook her head and made few fast steps right toward Eledin, having ignored the sign over the doorway. — What a funny beastie, — she said, lowering her face to your level to meet your eyes. — Your education and upbringing fully comply to your master's. — He is my human, Zellandera. He has a name and you shall treat him with respect! —Eledin snapped back. — As I do, — Zellandera arched her back in a scornful reverence. — Don't worry about my respect, you get it as much as you deserve. She turned from you and walked impressively to the Regal Copper that had started to yawn. Malik knew his wife well and not wanting to watch the scene any longer, hustened to distract her. — Oh, sweetie. We have to go. I want you getting to your job in time, — he cooed, stroking her neck with his. Such simple affection did an effect on the dragoness and Zellandera calmed down to leave the room without any mischiefs or poisonous comments. “I knew they were both stupid, auntie!” — Naltic's voice sounded outside. * - What a stupid bitch! - I muttered to Eledin. - Did you seen that? She almost caught me with her teeth. Eledin said just nothing. He came out of males toilet and sauntered directed at the second corner of cafe. - At least Malik is nice, and his kid is livable. - I sighed. - I think I need a drink before breakfast. Do buy me something stronger than tea? Finally I saw Astatia, which occupied a table. Dragon was in company of a very pretty girl in my age. * Eledin found the table in other corner of the cafe, near several tall plane trees that fenced visitors comfortably from outside noises. – Do you mind if we join? – Eledin asked hesitantly. The dragoness, who was in the company of the young lady, nodded. The table turned out to be large enough to accommodate the two dragons and their companions. Eledin placed himself in front of Astatia together with his human pet. – I suppose I shall introduce my girl. – The dragoness nosed the girl gently. – My name is Estera, – the girl said quietly. – Would you like to order something? Estera, have you chosen? – Yes, I have, my lady, – Estera responded, handing you the menu. – I want coffee and Greek salad. Astatia nodded approvingly. Eledin hurriedly put his finger on the menu and drew it closer to himself before to handle it to you. – Oh, don’t deny yourself in a choice, I pay, – the dragoness cheered you up. * - Nice to meet you, Estera! - I said, then introduced myself. - So you're Lady Astatia's companion, right? This girl had a good impression on me. She was smart, polite and nice. I would like to conclude a friendship with her. I hope that Eledin don't offend Astatia and we will be able to meet a few more times. - So I would something to eat! - I reached for menu. However Eledin was faster. He put his claw on a large book. - Hey, why are you doing this?! - I cired. - Are you going to starve me? This is not funny, you big lizard! Eledin decided to order something for me. He again treats me like a little hatchling. He don't allow me to drink coffee, takes me to toilet on his back, and orders wash my hands BEFORE piss. Fuck this life! * Eledin ordered mostly modest meals, not wanting to look wasteful in front of a lady, especially if the lady was a dragon and dragons were always scrupulous in matters of property and costs. He ordered a pair of cow legs with boiled potatoes for himself and caused a favorable, as he hoped, look from Astatia but overdid it, having ordered a plate of lean corn porridge for his human. – Really, you starve him! Immediately ask something more delicious for your companion! I insist! Eledin lowered his eyes and reluctantly allowed you to take the menu, though sniffing, grunting and winking at you. “Do not dare to order alcohol!” his eyes were saying. – I can help you chose if you like, – Estera proposed, while Eledin turned his attention to Astatia. – Madame, I just take care of his health. I read many times that humans like porridges. – I’m sure you read this nonsense from our government newspaper! – The dragoness lifted her snout mockingly. – I have a large collection of books about humans and their upbringing. You must read them. In response, the Celestial was mumbling something unintelligible. He didn’t like science literature. * I opened the menu and decided order something to drink. The choice didn't take too long, because I saw an interesting liquor. - Garçon, I want coffe with rum! — I said, arousing Eledin's repressed anger. My attention was absorbed by Estera. Circa 20-23 year-old girl bent over menu. I could look at her cleavage. I blushed. - It's kind of you, Estera. - I gasped. - Best for me would be a dish with meat. Maybe bacon and eggs? I was wondering if Astatia sees my embarrassment, because Eledin certainly knows that I'm excited by this young women. * A minute later, a cup of coffee with rum was put on the table. The waiter nodded to you and soared for the rest of your order. — Of course, you won't drink it, — Eledin grumbled. He had been watching you, having his ruff disapprovingly risen. — You cannot drink alcohol. You will get used to it and become an alcoholic or even worse – a wild human and be hiding in canalization! — My friend, — Astatia smiled at his behavior, — you shall give your companion a chance to become more responsible. I'm sure he will surprise you in good way once you start to trust him. — Or he will get wild and run away, — Eledin snorted. — I watched about it at a TV show. Estera, who had listened to the talk of the two dragons, asked you, almost whispering: — Does your master always act like this? Meanwhile, the dragons continued their discussion. — There are many things you shall learn about companionship and its benefits, — Astatia did another try to convince and calm down the Celestial. — Let's ask your companion what does he think. * - Yes. I'll drink it and you don't stop me, Eledin! - I said very sharply, then took a big sip from the cup. Delicious coffee with rum warmed my body. I ordered scrambled eggs, bacon, toast, feeling disputes hunger. Astatia and Eledin are talking about something important, and I am feeling satisfaction. - Well, Estera… - I whispered, when she asked me. - Eledin is not exactly my master. - I don't come from this world, and he gives me shelter and nutrition. It's a long, so crazy story that you can't believe in it. I heard Astatia's question. - I think that my… yhm… master should stop treating me like a child or hatchling. Tell me Astatia, is it in this strange country normal that dragon forbade human to drink alcohol or forcing him to wash his hands BEFORE piss? Why here we must wash our hands before and not after? And you Eledin, you should read books recommended by Astatia. I hope that you can read, and if not I will be happy to read it for you as for hatchling. I got angry. I hope that no one will have to blame me for it. * Eledin tried to catch the cup with his claw but to the Celestial’s horror the human had managed to get ahead of him and swallowed the content in one gulp. – Are you okay? How do you feel? – the dragon asked, solicitously touching you with his snout. Estera laughed and patted the dragon’s nose what immediately provoked an angry Eledin’s snort. – I assure you he’s well, – Astatia said strictly. – Still no one has died by a cup of coffee with rum. – But, – Eledin started disparately. – And no one has gotten wild! – she added. The dragons once again got in the discussion of how many coffee cups would a human being need to leave a civilized society forever. – Your master just cares about you, – smiling Estera said then went on almost whispering: – Not all dragons are so kind. Aunt Astatia told me that lady Zellandera mistreats her humans, Leitana, Trevor and his son Naltic, and cannot do much to help them. * - We met Zellandera - I said sarcastically. - She is bitch. Would you believe that she entered to males restroom? Soon waiters came to hand out our meals. I got bacon, eggs and toasts. Silently, I asked the waiter and another cup of coffee with rum. It got quiet. Everyone started eating. Estera seemed very amused with news that dragoness Zellandera entered into toilet for males. Certainly she would comment it. - Hm, you called Astatia an “aunt” - I looked an Estera. - Why? I doubt whether you are related with her. * — Watch what you speak! The ladies are here! — Eledin grew angry at your behavior. — I have to agree with your companion, — Astatia met you eyes. — Even if you are right on Zellandera's count it is not a reason to be rude. Good manners may be useful if you have a deal with people like Zellandera. Then the dragons continued their talk, having lost their interest for a moment. — I was six when my father led me to the nest-mansion, — Estera shrugged. — I barely remember him. He left me with Astatia and disappeared. Maybe he wasn't a good person. Astatia gave a plaintive guttural sound and carefully put her head near the girl. — Please Estera, don't say so. He was a good man. * I listened story of Estera's life. It was so sad. Admittedly Astatia seemed to be a good guardian, but it was not enough for Estera. Meanwhile our breakfast ended up. I ate the last pieces of bacon, drank coffee and burped very loud. Eledin looked at me like I was retarded, but refrained from any comments. Besides, he was so engrossed in conversation with Lady Astatia. Both dragons coincided liking to each other. It seems to me that they would arrange the next meeting. Maybe a date or something? - Wait! - I said, when Eledin gave me a paw to climb on his back. - Estera! Are near any shops with products for humans? I mean toothbrushes, towels, perfume, aspirin. Surely you know some merchants. * If Estera was embarrassed by you behavior she did not show that. – There is the supermarket near, – the girl pointed at the three large buildings. From the distance, they seemed strange conglomerations of cargo containers. – You can find everything you need. Sure, your companion should know about it. – We could guide you, – Astatia suggested. The dragoness had paid for your breakfast, having just touched the small black square in the center of the table. – We wouldn’t like to bother you, – Eledin said. – Nonsense, we have some free time! If you don’t mind Estera. The girl nodded and began to climb on the dragoness’ back. * - Thank you, Astatia - I was happy that I will spend more time with Celestial Dragoness and her compagnion. I climbed on Eledin's back. After a moment two dragons flew to north. It wasn't long journey. I noticed a paved square, around which were erected huge buildings shops. For humans and dragons's public use. Besides, there were plenty of small stalls serviced by humans, courier dragons and lightweight beasts. One hops and again on the ground! I gived my hand to Estera, when she nearly fell going down from Astatia's back. - But there is some problem — I said. - I have no money. Only Astatia was interested by my words. Eledin was too „busy”. He watched on billboard advertising the store with medicines and hygiene articles. * Astatia briskly walked ahead, looking at the shop shelves, searching for the necessary goods. Scurrying between trade pavilions customers were respectfully bowing their heads, stopping their business to cast admiring glance at the luxurious golden jewelry on the dragoness’ body and their, no less beautiful, possessor. Eledin, in his turn, trailed behind, staring at the dragon rump, hastily turning his head away every time when Astatia showed another counter or shelve. – There are goods for humans, – Astatia said, having stopped near a small pavilion. – Now, excuse me, I shall leave you for a while. I need to make a call. Estera, would you help our friends? – Yes, aunt, – Estera said before she stepped carefully on the proposed Astatia’s paw. Eledin mentally cursed the most boring day of shopping but helped you to come down, then he went behind you to the pavilion. – Hello! May I help you? – a shop worker cheerfully greeted you. It was a guy of your age. – Maybe, – Eledin said, sceptically looking at the seller, – my human needs help. – I beg you pardon? – the man did not understand. – Do you have anything that will help him learn how to be more docile? The seller mumbled: – I don’t think… Students only… – My human tomorrow goes to school! – the Celestial joyfully announced. * - What?! - I shouted. -This can't be! Are you joking, right? I'm not going to go to any fucking school! Unfortunately Eledin was deadly serious. He ignored my words and spoke with shop worker about school stuff for me. Shop worker knew it was a farce, but still lead a nice conversation with Eledin. Profit is more important than rationalism for some people. - Eledin, what the fuck are you doing?! - I slapped him on his flank. - I finished my school education! - You are lying, lazy mammal! - He hissed, raising his ruff. - Estera, help! Explain him that I am not a hatchling! - Umgh… Master Eledin, your hmmmm… pet is right, - Estera tried to convince the stubborm dragon. - Nonsense, young lady! You just cover his lazyness! I bet you don't like to go to school too! * Despite your protests and exhortations Eledin chose sets of school uniform of five ribbons decorated with bronze for you and with silver for Estera, undoubtefully wanting to impress her patroness. The cunning seller was not stopping to bow down, offering textbooks and writing materials, though to his chagrin, Eledin had only bought a box of chocolates to the already bought uniform which he handed to you as a reward for your patience while the seller put the ribbons on you. – Master Eledin, they are beautiful but we graduated school, – Estera said, looking at her reflection through a mirror. Eledin ignored another comment and pushed you with his snout closer to the mirror. – Just look how good it looks on you. You’ll be studying at the school. It was the best school in the city when I graduated. * - But… but… - I became dumb. There was no point to arguing with Eledin. I don't convince him that I'm not a hatchling. Only Astatia can do this. - Where is your mistress? - I asked, taking off ribbon. Unfortunately Estera couldn't answer this question. I thought Astatia didn't go make a call, but watch shops assortiment. Just fucking great! I was angry at cunning seller. This guy was not only make money, but had the opportunity to laughing too. - Estera… - I whispered to girl. - This scaly asshole said something about best school in the city. Maybe it's the same that you graduated? Could you prove it for him? I squeezed a box of chocolates in my hand and waited for Astatia. Meanwhile Estera accosted Eledin who paid seller. * Eledin proudly puffed up his chest, following after the seller toward a nearest payment terminal, having left you alone. – Astatia couldn’t accept the fact that I didn’t need to be accompanied during my classes in the university for a long time, – Estera said, thoughtfully watching Eledin who tried to rush to the terminal through a line of several middleweights and one courier dragon. Snorting and grumbling irritated middleweights concede their places in the queue though the courier beast showed much more persistence and gripped its claws into the device to Eledin’s displeasure who had to wait the little dragon, listening to laughter and reproaches on own count. The situation was aggravated when the bickering with the courier Celestial did not notice another Celestial that honestly had taken a place on the end of the queue. Eledin returned back being in a bad mood, accompanied by disgranted Astatia. – I won’t do so, – he was mumbling with a guilty look, almost touching the ground with his head. The dragoness contentedly nodded then asked you both: – How are you here during my absence? * - Astatia! - I rejoiced at the sight of dragoness. - It is good, that you are! What were you doing there so long? Astatia was frightened and a little amused by my words. Eledin looked at me like at boor. Other dragons get past him in queue, but he didn't care. I didn't going to give up to illusions of that stupid beast. - Eledin wants send me to school! – I barked. - He bought a special school-uniform-ribbons for me and Estera. Please, Astatia, explain this scaly fool that I'm adult human. I finished my education. If Eledin wants to send someone to school, let him become a father or something. * The dragons froze, having their mouthes opened and uncertainly looking at each other for a moment. Then both beasts hastened to pretend that they did not listen to your words and found a more interesting subject. – It’s an interesting idea! – Astatia exclaimed, absently looking at the ground under Estera’s feet. – You shall show us your new uniform immediately. – Right, – Eledin confirmed, nodding his head like a Chinese idol. – Come on, show us. Estera sighed and began to put on her school ribbons. * I couldn't believe what I heard. Astatia could joke or could be serious. Just fucking god knows what habits prevail in this crazy Dragon Country. Eledin, this stupid beast, can send me to school for adults or something. - Fuck! NO! NO! NO! - I screamed very loud, taking off my school ribbons and throwing them on ground. - Eledin, look at me! I'm an adult human who graduated school. Do you understand? - I sighed. - Please, Astatia, explain it to him. Speciesist dragon such Eledin believe only other dragons. You shouldn't joke, mistress. This is not funny. Not for me and Estera. * — I'm not a speacist! I just want to make you feel better and be a good human! — Eledin tried to oppose but fell silent as Astatia gave him a stern look. — Nobody send you to school, — the dragoness smiled with the corners of her mouth. Anticipating Eledin's objections she hastened to add: — You're too old for it, I believe. There is no need in school when some books and diligence are enough to learn our traditions and a way of life. After these words Eledin was completely depressed. The Celestial was speaking no word but only bluntly looking at his forelegs. — Oh! Just look at the uniform, Eledin! It is so beautiful! — Astatia exclaimed when Estera finished to put on the ribbons. — I think we can use these ribbons for a party of the graduates. * While both dragons discussed, I visited stand with household articles. I took toothbrush, towels and some other useful items. - Hey, big lizard! - I ordered, come closer to him. - You have a bill to pay. In principle, is in this country any cash or only electronic transfers? You could give me a credit card or something. Estera has a credit card. Eledin paid for my purchases, muttering something under his breath. It's time to say goodbye to Estera and Astatia. * “Well, I thought you would like to ask me to pay for you”, Eledin mumbled. Even a thought that the human can pay for himself was uncomfortable. No doubt his pet would get into troubles once he got own money. “Eledin, I hope you aren't going to refuse the right of your companion to have his own capital?” Astatia asked in a tone tolerating no objections. “I'll give him a chip very soon!” Eledin hastened to respond. “Bye!” Estera waved her hand. The girl had gotten on Astatia's back and sat in the saddle.